Saturday, May 11, 2013

Nothing About the Art at Frieze

Robert Boyd

I spent six hours on Thursday at Frieze in New York. There was art worth looking at and thinking about. But this post is all about people watching.

Here's what I want to say to the people on preview day at Frieze--YOU LOOK GOOD.

You look so good that you should buy a piece of art that tells you so in 3 foot letters.

Well, you don't all look good. Like this guy who has carefully constructed a Charles Bukowski look going, checking out a Mark Flood.

There were some amazing shoes at Frieze

When you're rich enough, you can wear dirty white shoes with no shoelaces or socks because who cares what anyone else thinks? That was the theme of much of the fashion at the fair.

Even Chuck Close doesn't care what you think of how he dresses.

(Besides, you're probably two busy having your mind-blown by his Segway-style wheel chair.)

See, this guy's jacket which says "fucked by the system" is ironic because he's actually supremely blessed by the system.

To quote David Cross, a jacket like that is like a big "fuck you, poor people!"

I expected to see nine other clones.

Look at the F%@&ing hipster.

I can tell you, there is a LOT of walking at Frieze. This woman played hurt--an inspiration to us all.

Frieze, where even rich people wait in line

Check out her blouse.

It's ironic because Mao was a psychopath who killed millions of people in the ironically named "Great Leap Forward". And now it's on a shirt wearing a priest's collar.

Please stand on the art.

Please stand on the art, part 2.

Look, it's Jerry Saltz walking in front of a giant blow-up of Walter Crane's ‘The Vampire’ (1885), which is ironic because Frieze is a bazaar devoted to selling super-expensive luxury items to very wealthy people.

He was headed for the can as far as I could tell.


Frieze won the prize for best people watching of the four art fairs I attended this week.



  1. Are you serious.

    1. It seems kind of pointless to respond, but no, I am not serious.

  2. This is the best review of Frieze.

  3. Hah!
    I WAS going to the can!!!
    Amazing call there ...
    Jerry Saltz

  4. Agree with Anon. This is the best review of Frieze-you nailed it!